We all use, abuse and confuse abbreviations. Ironically, “abbreviation”, meaning the shortened form of a word or phrase, is itself quite a long word of six syllables. Count them if you don’t believe me.
A/bbrev/i/a/tion – see, five syllables, but it’s so long it seems like six at least if not seven or eight or any large number.
Ironically, “abbreviation” is itself often abbreviated to “abbrev.”. This is a shortening of a word meaning “shortening”. There’s something creepy about that, like a snake half swallowing itself.
I have always thought it would be good to learn a few more Latin abbreviations to impress and confuse others. When you think about it, impressing and confusing others, especially students, is the reason the Romans invented Latin in the first place. Therefore my venture into Latin abbreviations would be applauded by all sorts of old Roman emperors, senators, generals etc. if they were alive. Unfortunately they are all dead, as is spoken Latin, but I am relying on fellow Abbreviationists to bring Latin abbreviations back to life.
We all know “etc.” which is the abbreviation for “et cetera” meaning “and so forth”. The humble “etc.” is quite popular already, but ramping up its usage, especially in politics, would benefit the whole human race, or at least those who listen to politicians’ speeches. The boring numbness of campaign speeches would be slashed if more et ceteras were employed. Increased use of et ceteras would save time, effort and energy for candidates, voters and the media pack.
“You all know where I stand on job creationism, law and orderliness, free tradies, tax cats and renewable energy bars et cetera”. The voters can then mentally add their own hot button issues and political solutions simply because the politician added that all important et cetera at the end.
“Tiny houses – she must be against them like I am. Tax cuts for pet owners -he must be for them like I am”.
And don’t think that the use or overuse of et cetera will reduce the passion of political rhetoric. Even the word et cetera itself can be used with emotional power through repetition and heavy handed emphasis.
Consider this example: “You all know what I think about the integrity of our political opponents the XYZ party. They are corrupt, self-serving, short-sighted, weak minded and incompetent – et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!”
Notice how the three et ceteras drive home the point like a sledgehammer and the final et cetera, shouted loudly and dripping with derision, takes the emotional appeal of the politician to another level entirely. Who could possibly vote for the XYZ party when they have been triple et cetera-ed?
“Et al” is another underused Latin abbreviation I plan to promote. It stands for “et alibi” (and elsewhere) or “et alii” (and others).
Classroom teachers could be using “et al” far more frequently to turbocharge student productivity and discipline.
“Jake Smith et al, stop sending nasty little text messages to one another this instant or you’ll be sent to the principal’s office et al for disciplinary action”.
Notice how using both meanings of “et al” were used, multiplying the impact of the teacher’s threat.
“Jake Smith et al” points to everyone associated with Jake in his “nasty text” gang. The teacher may not know exactly who the members are but they will know if they are guilty of text nastiness and immediately assume the teacher is referring to them personally. And notice the other use of “et al” meaning “and elsewhere”. The guilty gang members will be sent to the principal’s office “and elsewhere”. Where? Expelled from the school? Sent to the juvenile detention centre? Sent to prison? Deported to another country where text messages haven’t even been invented yet?
Another Latin abbreviation of untapped power is “pro tem” standing for “pro tempore” meaning “for the time being”.
Tip for corporate executives: use this term to intimidate, confuse and manipulate people even more effectively. Imagine the company’s CEO at the next board meeting. “This is our policy regarding employees pro tem”. What board members would dare question the CEO’s pronouncement thus revealing their ignorance of the term “pro tem”? If challenged about the affordability or efficiency of his policy, the CEO could simply reply vehemently “If the board members opposed to this policy were listening carefully they would realise the flexible nature of the scheme because as I said plainly, it is pro tem. I trust that I do not have to waste board members’ time by spelling out these obvious advantages in minute detail”. Board members will not, in 99% of situations, challenge this assurance, not being interested in minute details that require many minutes. They may be befuddled, thinking that if “pro” means “in favour of” then “pro tem” means pro-efficiency or pro-profit or pro-increases in directors’ fees. Or they may burrow into the dim recesses of their brain cells to construct their own meaning for “pro tem”. It could mean that the CEO is “pro” (in favour of) “tem” or “temporary” staff which would obviously decrease costs, regardless of effectiveness. Or the “tem” part of “pro tem” may refer to “tempo” or the speed of operation of the organisation. Speeding up everything, including board meetings, must be a good thing. Or perhaps “pro” means “professional”. Maybe “pro tem” means “at a professional speed”. As board members, of course they will approve any policy that is professional in its execution.
Abbreviations abound like a mob of kangaroos, in contemporary as well as classical languages. “Vet” can mean both “veteran” or “veterinarian”.
This must cause confusion in the Department Of Veterans’ Affairs. Bureaucrats commonly refer to this organisation as “Vet Affairs”. However animal vets will find very little help for their questions about how to safely sedate horses if they call Vet Affairs.
“Will this horse serve in a theatre of war?”
“No, actually it will be in a theatre of surgery”.
“I’m sorry, we only cover military service”.
“So you only give advice relating to cavalry horses?”
“Cavalry yes, horses no”.
“Why not?”
“Sir, horses, last time I asked, although very intelligent, are not human.”
“I’m a vet, not a doctor for humans”.
“I thought you said your name was Dr Brown”.
“Well yes, I am a type of doctor, a vet, that’s why I called you. This is Vet Affairs isn’t it?”
“Of course”.
The conversation could go on like this, like two parallel lines into infinity and beyond, never meeting, until the abbreviation is unabbreviated and the vet can show that, despite being a military veteran himself, he is a veterinarian veteran who helps horses, not human heroes.
-Geoff M
