Recipe – Chemise Blanche et Sweaté
Ingredients: 1 ripe white shirt. Ripeness is indicated by a slight yellowing at the top of the garment known as the “collare” area as well as the unmentionable “armpitte” location.
Marinade: 2 tbsp washing soda, 1 tbsp borax, 3 drops lemon oil and a pinch of salt. Add soap and water to taste.
Method:
1. Place the shirt in a bowl with marinade and stir well to mix ingredients.
Marinate for 2-3 hours to allow the marinade to deeply infuse the garment and bring out all the natural flavours and aromas.
2. After that time, carefully observe the couleur of the marinade. If it is brune or orange you will need to adjust your filthy habits and wash your clothes more often than once in a bleue moon.
3. Pour the shirt and marinade into a large food processor with a dough hook attachment or knead by hand for 10 minutes until you are exhausted.
Replace marinade with clean water and repeat.
4. Squeeze the chemise tenderly but thoroughly and transfer to a salad spinner for a final whirl.
Pat dry respectfully with some paper towel and set aside.
5. Place the shirt in a clean flat sandwich press on a low heat and warm one section at a time to produce a smooth texture similar to thin crepes.
6. Hang the shirt in a warm dry cupboard until you are ready to enjoy this crisp white delicacy.
7. When serving, wrap decoratively in a navy blue blazer. For formal occasions, garnish with a contrasting necktie.
8. Note: do not wear while indulging in wild drinking of black coffee, passionate eating of spaghetti or conspicuous consumption of curry without wearing full PPE clothing*.
Bon Appétit!
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© Geoff Milton 2022
*PPE refers to “Personal Protective Equipment” or “Purple People Eater” depending on the context and your level of frivolity.
See Youtube “Sheb Wooley – The Purple People Eater (Official Video)”
