Short and Humorous

Humorous short stories & columns

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Category - Household

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The human race has stopped moving forward and is now going backwards

May 20, 2024
by Geoff M
5 min read

According to experts, “the human race has peaked and could soon start moving backwards in terms of height, lifespan and physical performance”. Here’s the hard evidence: the average height of NFL football players in the US...

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  • Crime
  • Food
  • Household
  • Shopping

How to be a Retail Disruptor

October 31, 2023
by Geoff M
6 min read

Auntie Scarlett is quite fussy about some things she buys and couldn’t care less about others. This sometimes creates a kind of anarchy in the typical retail shop. Her obsessiveness may cause her to make a huge effort to...

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  • Animals
  • Food
  • Health
  • Household
  • Science

15 additives to avoid or embrace

October 21, 2023
by Geoff M
4 min read

FOOD & DRINK We all love adding extra ingredients to what we eat, drink, use or make until it is “just right” like Goldilocks’ porridge. Adding milk and sugar to coffee? Fine, whatever tickles your taste buds. How about...

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  • Animals
  • Gardening
  • Household
  • Recreation

Lawn care if you dare

June 1, 2022
by Geoff M
6 min read

A Shorten Humorless interview with Shaun Lorne, the Guerilla Gardener. SH: Welcome Shaun. You’re creating quite a stir in the world of gardening with your new book and podcast “The Guerilla Gardener – Smashing...

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  • Food
  • Household
  • Music

The chef and the shirt

May 21, 2022
by Geoff M
2 min read

Recipe – Chemise Blanche et Sweaté Ingredients: 1 ripe white shirt. Ripeness is indicated by a slight yellowing at the top of the garment known as the “collare” area as well as the unmentionable...

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  • Food
  • Health
  • Household
  • transportation

Itty bitty irritations

April 11, 2022
by Geoff M
6 min read

“The average man takes life as a trouble. He is in a chronic state of irritation at the whole performance.…. He fusses about pin-pricks until a mule kicks him. Then he learns the difference”.  Herbert N. Casson...

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  • Business
  • Food
  • Health
  • Household
  • Science

Off and on

July 25, 2021
by Geoff M
5 min read

We all know the difference between off and on, or do we? Our washing machine, having finished the thankless task of removing smells and stains from my clothes, should be off, but it’s not truly off. It’s doing something...

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  • Culture
  • Food
  • Household
  • Names
  • Words and writing

Marie Kondo your fridge

May 14, 2021
by Geoff M
5 min read

“Marie Kondo your fridge” the headline urged.* As you probably know, Marie Kondo is the tidiness and decluttering queen. Who doesn’t like her concept of “tidying up in a way that will spark joy in your life and change it...

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  • Business
  • Food
  • Gardening
  • Household
  • Work

Gold Standard Garbage Disposal 

January 20, 2021
by Geoff M
6 min read

Glatte. This features a heavy duty transparent glass bin. This proclaims to the neighbours that you have nothing to hide in your waste stream and that you are right up with the trendiest of garbage extraction trends. A large...

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